Cuppy strikes back!!

It's been a couple of weeks since my first post, so I thought I better keep everyone updated with the goings on in the fertility process.

Before I do I want to thank everyone for reading, and big thanks for all your comments, all of them are much appreciated. I especially love the feedback Im getting from people who have been through, or are thinking of,  or going through the same process. If the blog helps in anyway, I'm really chuffed....I think it may have even inspired one person to take fertility testing.  Good luck if you are... If your just reading it for a bit of a laugh, thats ok ...but remember, this is my junk we're talking about.

On to how everything's going......

In a word.....slow. As slow as my sperm.

When we last spoke, I told you that the next day I was off to the Jizz clinic to deposit a sample, I even put the appt time on the blog like a nice chap. I thought it would be good to keep you all informed to what was happening.

What I didnt expect was text messages on the way to the clinic with the general theme of this...

'I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!'

'I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU...HOPE YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT ME'

'GIVE CUPPY ONE FOR ME!'

All well and good, but it dawned on me as I drove like a maniac through Leeds to get to my appt....'Shit, I've got an audience for this....'  I would like to thank everyone who sent a text, it was appreciated, I did laugh, and I won't name you, for fear of retribution.

So lets get back to the appt. I had booked off some time at work (thanks boss) and had a 930 slot. I made it through the Leeds traffic, and arrived ...a little puffed out at the clinic bang on 930. Good for me I thought, In/out and back to work after lightening the load somewhat.
If only it was that simple......it was'nt.

After waiting for 15 minutes, I asked the receptionist lady (who had exceptionally bad body odour, not something that would 'put you in the mood') how long before my appt.

'About 20 minutes'

'Can I use the phone to call my boss and tell him?' I asked holding my nose and trying not to breathe. (I mean really....can people not smell themselves? Her colleagues must have smelt it, or are they now immune?) Anyhoo I digress....
I called my boss, told him of the situation, he understood...and off I went back to waiting.

About 10.05 I was called in.

The nurse lady sat me down, told me how good looking I was......and started to undress in the office.She had a fantastic body, toned and tanned.... Music was playing in the background a sort of Wacka Wacka Boom Boom sound.

'How about it big boy? Can I take your temprature.....?'

SORRY - that is for the version I'm writing for Penthouse magazine. Damn copy and paste.

Speaking of paste - the nurse gave me .......wait for it......Cuppy! And told me that I needed to go to The Room, give my sample and then wait on the chairs outside her office.

On leaving her office, I saw a couple of sheepish looking gents in the same predicament as me. We gave each other a knowing glance, a quick 'Alright?' No one really wants a conversation here....masturbation humour doesnt go down that well. It would be frowned upon to sit next to them and say...

'So......sperm going backwards are they?'

Its just not the done thing.

...... and off to The Room.
Now from my last post you will know that I have experience of these rooms before, but I must say this one was much better than Dewsbury hospital. I would give it a 7/10.

The first thing that caught my eye was this though....

It lead me to think.....what would you panic about?

'Help....Come quick .....I can't get wood!!'

or

'Help.... I've got wood....... I've come quick!'

Casting my glance around the room, it seemed the same sort of setup as everywhere else.Bed and chair with paper on, Antiseptic lotion, toilet, paper towels, adult material cupboard, frosted window.

Wait

Go back one.

Yes, this room had some....fnarr fnarr....

Just the words conjoured up all sorts of images.....but on opening the cupboard. A few dog eared copies of Juggs or whatever was all they had. And yes.....some pages were stuck together. I shit you not.

So....being under a bit of time constraints, (I needed to get back to work!) I performed some 'White Water Wristing' gave my sample and sat outside the nurses office.

I was half expecting her to say  'Wow that was quick'...but alas no. She just gave me the bill.

Yes, The Bill. As this pounding of the pudding cost me 95 quid.

So now......we wait. Because kind reader, our next appt couldn't be booked in until....... 5 weeks later. Until then we'll keep trying, and hoping, and I will be trying not to think of cuppy. Until the next time.

 But next time cuppy....make an effort, put on a nice bra and panties for christ sake.