THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.......

Its been a while since my last post on this blog, and for this I heartily apologise. If I had anything to tell you about the IVF process since my last musings......of course I would have. But alas.....there has been slow progress. we've been waiting for an appointment to come through the post...detailing when THE PROCESS, will start.

I could've written and told you all about our lovely Christmas, where my wife/Santa (there may be kids reading) outdid herself getting me a Six Million Dollar Man doll, and a Ukulele ( I got loads more but dont wish to bore).  I may have sat down and told you about my best friend breaking his collar bone, and hand in a mountain bike accident. (he looked in awful pain for quite a while...and a bit stupid with a plastic claw).

All very interesting, and would make for a wonderful, if slightly run of the mill blog.

Actually something did happen before Christmas, we had to attend (all part of THE PROCESS) a evening seminar on IVF/ICSI at the Leeds Centre for Reproductive Medicine in Seacroft. I was quite excited to be able to show my wife the place of my last liason with cuppy. The evening went into a lot of detail, by use of a few powerpoint presentations, about THE PROCESS, and what we can expect. You can never see enough V-Jay Jay's and Willys on power point presentations I feel. It was informative, but what struck me most....was the amount of people in the same boat as us. The room was packed. All ages, all worried, all hoping for the same thing. It was well worth attendning though...and we went away knowing that the next stage....would be the first stage in THE PROCESS.


Exciting huh!

And we waited.

Then, in late November a letter arrived. Our appointment was scheduled for 19th January at 1:30pm. Excellent, I wouldnt have to take any time off work, and the ball was now rolling. Sit back and enjoy Christmas.

God Bless Us Everyone.

Until the week before the appointment (last week as I write this) the clinic phoned my wife and said that the appt has been cancelled. Can we make 9am on the same day. I don't think they realise that people have, oh what are they called......ah yes.... JOBS! Luckily for us, both our employers were flexible enough to move some stuff around and let us have some time off....for this was the start of THE PROCESS.

So this morning,  my wife awoke at around 4am. I had a bit of a lie in until 630am (I get up at 5 usually) We took the dog out, and left for the appt around 8am...getting to the clinic at 830. Nice. Early. No problemo.
We were called in to see the Doctor, lets for argument and legal reasons call her Dr Bitchfromhell.

She sat us down, and started running through our details, name, age, occupation...

'Oh I know you're a Radio Presnter!'

This is good I thought.....bit of extra nice service Im thinking.....

Then Dr Bitchfromhell  started to tell us that my sperm sample was all fine.

'Say what now?'

Regular readers will know that many Doctors have already told us that the main reason for infertility with us is my low sperm count, and low motility...they dont want to swim....and those that do, swim backwards. According to Dr Bitchfromhell that isnt the only reason...my wifes polycystic ovaries are also too blame. Put us together...and you've got one infertile couple.

This is what our GP told us when we started THE PROCESS last April 2010.......yes APRIL 2010! But since then the reason for not getting pregnant has flitted between the two. No one has given us the same answer twice, and to be honest....I don't care.

I know we can't get pregnant...I know its because certain things are not working in either or both of us....we just want to get on with IVF now please!

This appt was beginning to feel like deja vu. We were going over all the ground we have been over four, maybe five times with different people. Sending my wife for scans on her ovaries.....again to see whats happening, I was half expecting to see cuppy again...my wife and I start looking at each other with a 'what the fuck' face. And together we ask Dr Bitchfromhell the same thing...

'We've been through this few times now, we thought that today was the start of THE PROCESS...thats what we were told. Can you tell us whats going to happen now? How long will it take for this to all happen now....we've been on THE PROCESS since April...'

At this point, what happened next absolutely blew my mind. I quote now pretty much word for word what Dr Bitchfromhell said to our enquiry.........

'We have a process.....do not get aggressive with me, I do not appreciate people getting aggressive with me, I will tell you what happens in good time.'

You could cut the atmosphere with a knife. Let me make this clear. At no point did either myself or my wife get 'aggressive'. If asking a question, after being bounced from pillar to post for nearly a year is aggressive...then lock me up now. Then to all intense and purposes she threw her toys out of the pram.

While filling out a bit of paperwork she then said........'Do you have any questions........Of course you dont....you know IT ALL'

Im sorry? Did you just get 'aggressive'?

She then went on to tell us about the open evening we had to attend.....something we did FOUR months ago.

We got out of there pretty sharpish as you can imagine. We booked our next appointment (a nurse consultation) for 21st Feb...and left in shock. Speechless.....bloody speechless. I have never been spoken to like that, in that tone since I was in primary school.

This Dr Bitchfromhell should not be a patient facing professional, she has no idea of how to handle social situations. Even if we were aggressive (which we were not) she should know that this is an extremely emotional situation, and peoples feelings are on the edge. How to handle people, and maybe empathy for them should be a prerequisite for all medical professionals, and especially ones dealing with such volatile emotional material.

I am absolutely disgusted with how we've been treated today, and will be writing a terse letter to her superiors....but that will have to wait, as we need her right now dont we. I'm quite a calm person, a glass is half full type of chap, always try to see the good in people. But after today, calmness is out of the window, the glass is now smashed on the floor, and sod the good in Dr Bitchfromhell.

She is on my shit list.

She is the only one on there. (Well, her and Jar Jar Binks)